Have you ever been interested in someone but had lingering questions as to whether they were gay or straight so you weren\’t sure how to approach them? This happens more and more in our culture where being gay or lesbian is more accepted than ever before. While there are a lot of people who are coming out, not everyone has the need to advertise their sexuality and this can lead to a lot of questions as to whether you are right for the person you are interested in. How do you know? Can you ask?
The first thing that you should be aware of is that a lot of people are really private about their sexuality. This is not something that you just ask in a nonchalant way. For instance, asking someone \”Are you straight?\” is not appropriate and even if they are, you may offend them. Instead of asking straight out you can do a bit of investigative work of your own and try to determine if they are gay or straight.
The first thing you can do is talk to them about their past relationships. Ask them if they are seeing anyone right now and if they are you can ask how long they have been together. This will usually give you an indication of whether or not they are gay or straight by telling you about \”him\” or \”her\” or they will reference a relationship in the past saying that the guy or girl they were dating was just not right for them so they went their separate ways.
Another thing you can do is point out someone that you think is attractive. Such as, \”All the guys/girls in the office think insert name here is hot, what do you think?\” and see how he or she responds. This is not always a clear indication as a lot of people are really private and will give you their opinion of whether or not they think the person is attractive in general, not whether or not they would date the person.
You can get some clues from asking these questions just by listening closely to the answer. People who are not out but may be gay or lesbian may use a lot of words such as they, them, they\’re and other words that do not actually let you know if the person that they are dating is male or female. Of course, this is not always accurate just for gay or lesbian people.
You\’ll need to feel the person out and really listen to what they say and watch them interact with other people. It can be difficult to determine, in a lot of cases, whether or not a person is a gay or straight. If in doubt, just ask them out if you are interested and find out once and for all whether or not you are compatible based on sexuality.